Addiction may be better described as a brain malfunction rather than a disease. Granted, there may be some with a disease or abnormality. However, I think that most who deal with the addictive process are dealing with the mind brilliantly attempting to help them avoid painful thoughts by creating the addiction as a huge distraction from ones life. Many times "the addict" (I rather loath labels) is ignorant and resistant to even getting close to what is actually causing the pain. Thus, the mind creates a hurricane on which we must focus. All the mental focus is applied to solving the addiction and all the distractions that come with it as a means of avoiding the real pain. Unfortunately, this only leads to more pain in addition to the core issues that are cleverly being avoided. Having suffered with my own addictions I can only say what is true for me and this comment is certainly anecdotal. What is useful for me in dealing with addictions is a question I used to ask myself and ask many of my current clients -
"When you are thinking or even obsessed about and addiction or any thought for that matter, what are you not thinking about?" After much work including a lot of coaching and journaling, I was almost always able to become aware of a very, very deep fear of which I was not formerly aware. As I shined the light of my consciousness upon my deepest fears they would evaporate like puddles on a hot summers day.
And, the need for the addiction would evaporate with it - until the next fear popped up. Awareness is the key and foundation on which I coach ...
~ Tom Notarianni
©2009 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org
5 comments:
Yep, you're right, addiction is pain avoidance. Instead of dealing with the cause, I am numbing the effect.
Thanks Oliver! While the acute effects addictive substances are certainly numbing, my focus here is on the brilliance of the mind itself. Addictions cause problems that form huge distractions in our minds. While our minds are focused on those distractions we have cleverly avoided thinking about our real pain typically related to some fear laden experience we likely perceived as awful. We have successfully avoided dealing with our pain by creating different pain on which we focus. While this solution works on one level clearly it's no solution at all.
The "walls" we put up around us "for protection"(from pain) eventually turn out to be a prison. Only you can "set yourself free". Recovery from any addiction requires not only a change in behavior (abstaining from the addictive behavior), but, just as important, a change in your thinking process. The common theme in addiction is that the addict engages in a relationship with an object or event to "numb out". While we may all "numb ourselves" at times, the addict depends on the process for comfort. Any feeling of "discomfort" becomes a signal to act out. Eventually, the addiction causes pain (loss of job, friends, self-respect), the very thing the addict was trying to avoid. In consciously facing our fears and pain, we start the journey in discovering our true "self". When we have a healthy relationship with our "self", our happiness is inevitable. Karen :)
Great comment Karen. You must have an amazing coach ;)
"Eventually, the addiction causes pain (loss of job, friends, self-respect), the very thing the addict was trying to avoid."
This statement is very close to what I am attempting to express. The pain and calamity that addictions cause become a huge distraction that our mind must focus on. They are not really what we wish to avoid. What we wish to avoid is our core issues that scare us the most. By creating this calamity our minds MUST then focus on it. And, when we are focused on what ever mess we just made, what do we get to avoid? The things that really scare us and we want to avoid. In a way, it is a truly brilliant function of our minds. However, it only avoids the pain and does not heal it. Plus you have the mess to clean up.
Yes, I DO have an amazing coach. :)
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