The 7 Pillars of a Peaceful Mind
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Paradoxical Commandments
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
(These verses apparently added by Mother Theresa)
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and Spirit.
It was never between you and them anyway
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and Spirit.
It was never between you and them anyway
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Looking Into Laziness
By Pema Chödrön
Rather than feeling discouraged by laziness, we could get to know laziness profoundly. This very moment of laziness becomes our personal teacher.
Traditionally, laziness is taught as one of the obstacles to awakening. There are different kinds of laziness. First, there’s the laziness of comfort orientation, we just try to stay comfortable and cozy. Then there’s the laziness of loss of heart, a kind of deep discouragement, a feeling of giving up on ourselves, of hopelessness. There’s also the laziness of couldn’t care less. That’s when we harden into resignation and bitterness and just close down.
Comfort Orientation
Comfort orientation comes in a variety of forms. Sogyal Rinpoche writes that in the East, for example, laziness often manifests as flopping down in the sun with one’s cronies, drinking tea, and letting the days pass by. In the West, he observes, laziness frequently manifests as speed. People rush from one thing to another, from the gym to the office to the bar to the mountains to the meditation class to the kitchen sink, the backyard, the club. We rush around seeking, seeking, seeking comfort and ease.
Whether we flop or rush, and wherever on the globe we happen to be, the comfort-orientation brand of laziness is characterized by a profound ignoring. We look for oblivion: a life that doesn’t hurt, a refuge from difficulty or self-doubt or edginess. We want a break from being ourselves, a break from the life that happens to be ours. So through laziness we look for spaciousness and relief; but finding what we seek is like drinking salt water, because our thirst for comfort and ease is never satisfied.
Some Antidotes To Lack Of Self-Confidence
SOME ANTIDOTES TO LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE
- Find the courage to really open your heart to someone; self-confidence is deeply related to trusting others. Our deepest secrets are often not as hidden to others as we may think, or simply so common in the experience of others, that there is actually nothing special about them. We often consider ourselves very special, and forget that all the others around us are just as human as we ourselves are.
- Try reality checks with others, and do not tell yourself that, "he/she is lying when saying that I am a nice person" - this is actually quite a negative attitude to people, as you assume they are lying...
- Practice compassion and loving-kindness to others, also if they do not immediately react positive.
- Analyse reality to discover that "life is not perfect, I am not perfect (yet), and neither are other people".
- Try hard to give up unrealistic expectations of needing to be perfect right now, then forgiving and having compassion for yourself becomes possible.
- Be realistic: I am just as much a human than others (equanimity), are they really that much better?
- Study and meditate on the Noble Truth of Suffering, realising that if you do not take any action, nothing will ever improve.
- To overcome frustration afterwards, try to act when negative situations can be changed, better to have no success than never having tried. What is there to loose, really?
- Meditate on your potential; unveiling your Buddha nature
- Meditate on purification; this may make your potential clear.
- Meditate on impermanence: everything changes, even my bad "I" will change for the better!
- Meditate on karma: the only way that things will get better is to do something positive.
- Meditate on emptiness; the ultimate antidote to all delusions.
- Try taking some precepts/vows to build your self-esteem, or simply any positive commitment to yourself which you are certain you will manage to keep.
- Dare to laugh at yourself and the world!
- Try reality checks with others, and do not tell yourself that, "he/she is lying when saying that I am a nice person" - this is actually quite a negative attitude to people, as you assume they are lying...
- Practice compassion and loving-kindness to others, also if they do not immediately react positive.
- Analyse reality to discover that "life is not perfect, I am not perfect (yet), and neither are other people".
- Try hard to give up unrealistic expectations of needing to be perfect right now, then forgiving and having compassion for yourself becomes possible.
- Be realistic: I am just as much a human than others (equanimity), are they really that much better?
- Study and meditate on the Noble Truth of Suffering, realising that if you do not take any action, nothing will ever improve.
- To overcome frustration afterwards, try to act when negative situations can be changed, better to have no success than never having tried. What is there to loose, really?
- Meditate on your potential; unveiling your Buddha nature
- Meditate on purification; this may make your potential clear.
- Meditate on impermanence: everything changes, even my bad "I" will change for the better!
- Meditate on karma: the only way that things will get better is to do something positive.
- Meditate on emptiness; the ultimate antidote to all delusions.
- Try taking some precepts/vows to build your self-esteem, or simply any positive commitment to yourself which you are certain you will manage to keep.
- Dare to laugh at yourself and the world!
" Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,A few thoughts as examples of what you could reflect upon during a meditation session on self-confidence:
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but for the patience to win my freedom." Shantideva
- If I cannot accept myself as being human, how can I ever accept and trust others? If I cannot accept and trust others, how can I respect and love them? If I cannot respect and love others, how can they respect and love me?
- Spirituality is going beyond our self and self-interested focussing, it requires courage, independence, faith in our own potential as a human being, even our potential to become a Buddha, and peace of mind. Note that these aspects all refer in some way to self-confidence and self acceptance.
- By falling over and getting up many times, children learn that walking is possible. In judo, falling many times teaches you to fall without pain; we cannot always avoid falling, but we can often learn to avoid the pain!
- Self-confidence comes from being challenged to one's limits, meeting them and then setting new limits.
- If I let the fear of making mistakes control my life, I could not do anything at all but lead a completely useless life, is that not something to be very afraid of?
- Perhaps the following prayer can be a powerful motivation as well as dedication for any (meditation) practice:"May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need." His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
Laziness
Laziness: (in Buddhism defined as "being attached to temporary pleasure, not wanting to do virtue or only little".) The reason for this kind of laziness could be based on the fear responsibility or making mistakes, based on the unrealistic:"I should be perfect and not make mistakes, so I better do nothing at all".
Laziness comes in many forms, all of which result in procrastination, putting off practice to another time. Sometimes laziness is a matter of being distracted from meditation by morally neutral activities, like sewing or considering how to drive from one place to another; this type of laziness can be especially pernicious because these thoughts and activities are not usually recognized as problems.
At other times, laziness manifests as distraction to thinking about nonvirtuous activities, such as an object of lust or how to pay an enemy back. Another type of laziness is the sense that you are inadequate to the task of meditation, feeling inferior and discouraged: "How could someone like me ever achieve this!" In this case you are failing to recognize the great potential of the human mind and the power of gradual training.
All of these forms of laziness involve being unenthusiastic about meditation. How can they be overcome? Contemplation of the advantages of attaining mental and physical flexibility will generate enthusiasm for meditation and counteract laziness. Once you have developed the meditative joy and bliss of mental and physical flexibility, you will be able to stay in meditation for as long as you want. At that time your mind will be completely trained so you can direct it to any virtuous activity; all dysfunctions of body and mind will have been cleared away.
The Eight-Fold Noble Path
THE TRUE PATH, OR EIGHT-FOLD NOBLE PATH
If we can control our body and mind in a way that we help others instead of doing them harm, and generating wisdom in our own mind, we can end our suffering and problems.
The Buddha summarised the correct attitude and actions in the Eight-fold Noble Path:(The first 3 are avoiding the 10 non-virtues of mind, speech and body:)
- Correct thought: avoiding covetousness, the wish to harm others and wrong views (like thinking: actions have no consequences, I never have any problems, there are no ways to end suffering etc.)
- Correct speech: avoid lying, divisive and harsh speech and idle gossip.
- Correct actions: avoid killing, stealing and sexual misconduct
- Correct livelihood: try to make a living with the above attitude of thought, speech and actions.
- Correct understanding: developing genuine wisdom.
(The last three aspects refer mainly to the practice of meditation:) - Correct effort: after the first real step we need joyful perseverance to continue.
- Correct mindfulness: try to be aware of the "here and now", instead of dreaming in the "there and then".
- Correct concentration: to keep a steady, calm and attentive state of mind.
one should feel happiness, compassion, love and joyous effort when practicing.
Superficial Pleasures Never Satisfy
"Hundreds of stupid flies gather
On a piece of rotten meat,
Enjoying, they think, a delicious feast.
This image fits with the song
Of the myriads of foolish living beings
Who seek happiness in superficial pleasures;
In countless ways they try,
Yet I have never seen them satisfied."
The 7th Dalai Lama
On a piece of rotten meat,
Enjoying, they think, a delicious feast.
This image fits with the song
Of the myriads of foolish living beings
Who seek happiness in superficial pleasures;
In countless ways they try,
Yet I have never seen them satisfied."
The 7th Dalai Lama
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Six Kinds of Loneliness, By Pema Chödrön
To be without a reference point is the ultimate loneliness. It is also called enlightenment.
In the middle way, there is no reference point. The mind with no reference point does not resolve itself, does not fixate or grasp. How could we possibly have no reference point? To have no reference point would be to change a deep-seated habitual response to the world: wanting to make it work out one way or the other. If I can't go left or right, I will die! When we don't go left or right, we feel like we are in a detox center. We're alone, cold turkey with all the edginess that we've been trying to avoid by going left or right. That edginess can feel pretty heavy.
However, years and years of going to the left or right, going to yes or no, going to right or wrong has never really changed anything. Scrambling for security has never brought anything but momentary joy. It's like changing the position of our legs in meditation. Our legs hurt from sitting cross-legged, so we move them. And then we feel, "Phew! What a relief!" But two and a half minutes later, we want to move them again. We keep moving around seeking pleasure, seeking comfort, and the satisfaction that we get is very short-lived.
We hear a lot about the pain of samsara, and we also hear about liberation. But we don't hear much about how painful it is to go from being completely stuck to becoming unstuck. The process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery, because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality, like changing our DNA. We are undoing a pattern that is not just our pattern. It's the human pattern: we project onto the world a zillion possibilities of attaining resolution. We can have whiter teeth, a weed-free lawn, a strife-free life, a world without embarrassment. We can live happily every after. This pattern keeps us dissatisfied and causes us a lot of suffering.
As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Importance of Cultivating Kindness and Compassion
Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So you can prepare to deal with such occasions by constantly working to build inner contentment and by cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about a certain calmness of mind that can help prevent anger from arising in the first place.
The Dalai Lama
Friday, February 11, 2011
The Dance of Gloriousness and Wretchedness
Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both.
Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction.
On the other hand, wretchedness--life's painful aspect--softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose--you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple.
Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.
Excerpted from "Start Where You Are"
by Pema Chödrön
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thought For The Week: Expect Good Things To Happen
"During times of uncertainty and trepidation our minds imagine the worst case scenario and we begin to live like its really happening. Remember, the Universe is ALWAYS conspiring to help us. Expect good things to happen knowing the Universe always aligns itself with our intentions - even when we don't want or understand our current circumstances, they are for our benefit."
Tom Notarianni Jr
©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org
Tom Notarianni Jr
©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
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