Monday, February 28, 2011

Thought For The Week: Excellence


“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit."

Aristotle

Friday, February 25, 2011

The Paradoxical Commandments


The Paradoxical Commandments




by Dr. Kent M. Keith


People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway. 

(These verses apparently added by Mother Theresa)

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. 
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
 

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. 

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and Spirit.

It was never between you and them anyway

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Looking Into Laziness


By 


Rather than feeling discouraged by laziness, we could get to know laziness profoundly. This very moment of laziness becomes our personal teacher.


Traditionally, laziness is taught as one of the obstacles to awakening. There are different kinds of laziness. First, there’s the laziness of comfort orientation, we just try to stay comfortable and cozy. Then there’s the laziness of loss of heart, a kind of deep discouragement, a feeling of giving up on ourselves, of hopelessness. There’s also the laziness of couldn’t care less. That’s when we harden into resignation and bitterness and just close down.

Comfort Orientation

Comfort orientation comes in a variety of forms. Sogyal Rinpoche writes that in the East, for example, laziness often manifests as flopping down in the sun with one’s cronies, drinking tea, and letting the days pass by. In the West, he observes, laziness frequently manifests as speed. People rush from one thing to another, from the gym to the office to the bar to the mountains to the meditation class to the kitchen sink, the backyard, the club. We rush around seeking, seeking, seeking comfort and ease.

Whether we flop or rush, and wherever on the globe we happen to be, the comfort-orientation brand of laziness is characterized by a profound ignoring. We look for oblivion: a life that doesn’t hurt, a refuge from difficulty or self-doubt or edginess. We want a break from being ourselves, a break from the life that happens to be ours. So through laziness we look for spaciousness and relief; but finding what we seek is like drinking salt water, because our thirst for comfort and ease is never satisfied.


Some Antidotes To Lack Of Self-Confidence


SOME ANTIDOTES TO LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE

- Find the courage to really open your heart to someone; self-confidence is deeply related to trusting others. Our deepest secrets are often not as hidden to others as we may think, or simply so common in the experience of others, that there is actually nothing special about them. We often consider ourselves very special, and forget that all the others around us are just as human as we ourselves are.
- Try reality checks with others, and do not tell yourself that, "he/she is lying when saying that I am a nice person" - this is actually quite a negative attitude to people, as you assume they are lying...
- Practice 
compassion and loving-kindness to others, also if they do not immediately react positive.
- Analyse reality to discover that "life is not perfect, I am not perfect (yet), and neither are other people".
- Try hard to give up unrealistic expectations of needing to be perfect right now, then 
forgiving and having compassion for yourself becomes possible.
- Be realistic: I am just as much a human than others (
equanimity), are they really that much better?
- Study and meditate on the 
Noble Truth of Suffering, realising that if you do not take any action, nothing will ever improve.
- To overcome frustration afterwards, try to act when negative situations can be changed, better to have no success than never having tried. What is there to loose, really?
- Meditate on your potential; 
unveiling your Buddha nature
Meditate on purification; this may make your potential clear.
Meditate on impermanence: everything changes, even my bad "I" will change for the better!
Meditate on karma: the only way that things will get better is to do something positive.
-
 Meditate on emptiness; the ultimate antidote to all delusions.
- Try 
taking some precepts/vows to build your self-esteem, or simply any positive commitment to yourself which you are certain you will manage to keep.
- Dare to 
laugh at yourself and the world!
" Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but for the patience to win my freedom." 
Shantideva
A few thoughts as examples of what you could reflect upon during a meditation session on self-confidence:
- If I cannot accept myself as being human, how can I ever accept and trust others? If I cannot accept and trust others, how can I respect and love them? If I cannot respect and love others, how can they respect and love me?
- Spirituality is going beyond our self and self-interested focussing, it requires courage, independence, faith in our own potential as a human being, even our potential to become a Buddha, and peace of mind. Note that these aspects all refer in some way to self-confidence and self acceptance.
- By falling over and getting up many times, children learn that walking is possible. In judo, falling many times teaches you to fall without pain; we cannot always avoid falling, but we can often learn to avoid the pain!
- Self-confidence comes from being challenged to one's limits, meeting them and then setting new limits.
- If I let the fear of making mistakes control my life, I could not do anything at all but lead a completely useless life, is that not something to be very afraid of?
- Perhaps the following prayer can be a powerful motivation as well as dedication for any (meditation) practice:
"May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need." 
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Laziness


Laziness: (in Buddhism defined as "being attached to temporary pleasure, not wanting to do virtue or only little".) The reason for this kind of laziness could be based on the fear responsibility or making mistakes, based on the unrealistic:"I should be perfect and not make mistakes, so I better do nothing at all". 


Once more in the words of His Holiness the Dalai Lama from How to See Yourself As You Really Are:


Laziness comes in many forms, all of which result in procrastination, putting off practice to another time. Sometimes laziness is a matter of being distracted from meditation by morally neutral activities, like sewing or considering how to drive from one place to another; this type of laziness can be especially pernicious because these thoughts and activities are not usually recognized as problems.
At other times, laziness manifests as distraction to thinking about nonvirtuous activities, such as an object of lust or how to pay an enemy back. Another type of laziness is the sense that you are inadequate to the task of meditation, feeling inferior and discouraged: "How could someone like me ever achieve this!" In this case you are failing to recognize the great potential of the human mind and the power of gradual training.
All of these forms of laziness involve being unenthusiastic about meditation. How can they be overcome? Contemplation of the advantages of attaining mental and physical flexibility will generate enthusiasm for meditation and counteract laziness. Once you have developed the meditative joy and bliss of mental and physical flexibility, you will be able to stay in meditation for as long as you want. At that time your mind will be completely trained so you can direct it to any virtuous activity; all dysfunctions of body and mind will have been cleared away.

The Eight-Fold Noble Path


THE TRUE PATH, OR EIGHT-FOLD NOBLE PATH

If we can control our body and mind in a way that we help others instead of doing them harm, and generating wisdom in our own mind, we can end our suffering and problems.
The Buddha summarised the correct attitude and actions in the Eight-fold Noble Path:
(The first 3 are avoiding the 10 non-virtues of mind, speech and body:)
  1. Correct thought: avoiding covetousness, the wish to harm others and wrong views (like thinking: actions have no consequences, I never have any problems, there are no ways to end suffering etc.)
  2. Correct speech: avoid lying, divisive and harsh speech and idle gossip.
  3. Correct actions: avoid killing, stealing and sexual misconduct
  4. Correct livelihood: try to make a living with the above attitude of thought, speech and actions.
  5. Correct understanding: developing genuine wisdom.
    (The last three aspects refer mainly to the practice of meditation:)
  6. Correct effort: after the first real step we need joyful perseverance to continue.
  7. Correct mindfulness: try to be aware of the "here and now", instead of dreaming in the "there and then".
  8. Correct concentration: to keep a steady, calm and attentive state of mind.
The Buddha explained that we can use the Four Yardsticks to assess if we are practicing the correct way:
one should feel happiness, compassionlove and joyous effort when practicing.

Superficial Pleasures Never Satisfy

"Hundreds of stupid flies gather
On a piece of rotten meat,
Enjoying, they think, a delicious feast.
This image fits with the song
Of the myriads of foolish living beings
Who seek happiness in superficial pleasures;
In countless ways they try,
Yet I have never seen them satisfied."



  The 7th Dalai Lama

The Patience To Win My Freedom

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but for the patience to win my freedom." 




  Shantideva

Monday, February 21, 2011

Thought For The Week: Attachment

"No matter what it is in life, if we can't be without it, it owns us. 


  Tom Notarianni Jr.


©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org

Monday, February 14, 2011

Six Kinds of Loneliness, By Pema Chödrön



To be without a reference point is the ultimate loneliness. It is also called enlightenment.


Thought For The Week: It's What We Give That Brings Us Joy


On Valentine's day let's remain mindful of our true nature: It's what we give that will bring us true joy. 


  Tom Notarianni Jr.






©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Importance of Cultivating Kindness and Compassion


Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So you can prepare to deal with such occasions by constantly working to build inner contentment and by cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about a certain calmness of mind that can help prevent anger from arising in the first place.


  The Dalai Lama

Friday, February 11, 2011

The Dance of Gloriousness and Wretchedness




Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both.

Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction.

On the other hand, wretchedness--life's painful aspect--softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose--you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple.

Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.

Excerpted from "Start Where You Are"
by Pema Chödrön

Monday, February 7, 2011

Thought For The Week: Expect Good Things To Happen

"During times of uncertainty and trepidation our minds imagine the worst case scenario and we begin to live like its really happening. Remember, the Universe is ALWAYS conspiring to help us. Expect good things to happen knowing the Universe always aligns itself with our intentions - even when we don't want or understand our current circumstances, they are for our benefit."


  Tom Notarianni Jr



©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

When I Withdraw My Love

"Whenever I withdraw my Love from anyone for any reason, I am the one who suffers."

  ~  Pema Chojor

©2011 All Right Reserved The Peaceful Minds Center™LLC 561-531-3626 peacefulminds.org